Disney+ Day Summary

A picture says more than a thousand words they say. Well, here is the picture. Click through for a discussion.

Trigger Warning: there may be sarcasm in this post. If you cannot stand sarcasm please turn off your PC, subscribe to Disney+ and watch some memberberry movies and shows for that warm feeling deep inside! Thank you!

Virtually nothing Star Wars related was announced on “Disney+ Day”. We got an Obi-Wan Kenobi sizzle real without any footage from the show, instead Ewan McGregor and Deborah Chow tell us how excited they are. We saw some concept art which Chuck already posted yesterday.

There is a Boba Fett documentary on Disney+ available now.

And then – nothing.

Instead Disney announced 253 new Marvel series.

• Moon Knight – Oscar Isaac DOES work for Disney again, this time as some kind of schizophrenic super hero. Let’s hope his dialogue will be better this time and that he won’t be a drug runner who wears Indiana Jones’ old wardrobe
• She-Hulk – Because He-Hulk is too toxic
• Ms. Marvel – some character whose comics are read by a few ten thousand people and who is the main campaign character in a much hated Marvel video game
• Echo – Hawkeye’s (the series will be released later this month) female replacement co-star gets her own show, Echo is basically Daredevil, only she’s deaf, not blind. The actress performing the role is also deaf. I want my next Daredevil actor to be blind then, but he still must perform all of his own stunts of course!
• Iron Heart – the bestest Ironman ever. Now with 500% more hair and of course she’s a black teenage girl super genius. Her comics had lousy sales figures. So of course they make a show based on her
• Agatha: House of Harkness – a WandaVision spin-off series. So basically the spin-off of a spin-off, you spin me right round, baby, right round, like a record baby… sorry, I got carried away there for a second
• Secret Invasion – starring Mace Windu and Director Krennic. Only it’s not Star Wars but Marvel and they are different characters
• The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special – unless they were somehow able to hire Bea Arthur this can certainly not hold a candle to the mother of all Holiday Specials!
• X-Men ’97 – a new animated show about the mutants. I am surprised this is not titled X-People…
• What If…? Season 2 – What if there will never be a Visions Season 2?
• Spider-Man: Freshman Year – another animated show about the formative years of Peter Parker, something I am sure we have never seen before
• I Am Groot – a series of shorts. I bet writing the dialogue for this show was super duper difficult!
• Marvel Zombies – the sound the bottom of the barrel makes when you scrape it too hard

In addition to Marvel Disney is heavily invested in even more memberberries since they cannot come up with good new original content.

There will be a Willow series, Cars will get an animated series, Hocus Pocus will get a part 2, Zootopia and Baymax will get a series as well, then there are a bunch of other things like Sneakeralla or some alternate take on Romeo & Juliet, from the point of view of Romeo’s ex girlfriend (yes, this is not a joke). Disney will also make a movie titled “The Princess”, in which the titular princess would rather fight with a sword than look pretty and she has to save the kingdom from mercenaries. I suppose this happens when you let bots trained on Twitter write treatments for movies.
Princess Tiana – Disney culturally appropriated the European fairytale about the Frog Prince back in 2009 with that character – gets her own musical series where she does a reverse Prince of Zamunda and travels back to her country of origin… And so on and so forth.

Check out all new announcements from today here:

https://thewaltdisneycompany.com/disney-debuts-first-looks-exclusive-footage-and-new-trailers-in-celebration-of-disney-day/

The fact that Star Wars got nothing is one thing, but I am shocked how creatively bankrupt the announcements are. There is almost nothing new and original. Everything is either a spin-off, sequel or a retelling of a well known story with a modern twist.

In other news: Disney+ subscriber growth screeches to a halt with only 2 million new subscribers in the last quarter. I wonder why.

Leave your own thoughts in the comments!

I sign off now. I need to go weep in a corner and then hug my teddy bear.

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